“A certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word…

“…Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore, tell her to help me.”

And Jesus answered, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken from her.”
–Luke 10:38, 40-42

Martha invited You into her home, but she did not sit at your feet.

Mary did nothing else, and it was enough.

One thing is needed.

Many things distract my mind, many things gnaw at my heart, but ONE thing is needed. That means the rest is optional.

I can do much work, much serving, much that is honorable, and miss the one thing that was NEEDED.

I can invite you in and then totally ignore you.

Or, I can lay aside my many priorities, lay down my many worries and tend to that one thing; it will not be taken away. Nothing else will swoop in and become more important. I will not look back and regret how I used my time. I can choose one thing, no matter how confusing and in pieces the rest of life is, and rest easy knowing I made the right choice.

“The human spirit can endure a sick body, but who can bear a crushed spirit?”
–Proverbs 18:14

A broken spirit, who can bear?

Not me.

Again and again I drop here, exhausted, exasperated, discouraged, and ask you for help. I cannot handle it out there.

Just when I start to feel like my bubbly self again and I’m noticing the sunshine and breathing in sweet friendship and finally feeling my tentative roots sink into the warm earth and settle; I am blind-sided by another blow that knocks the wind out of me and bowls me over, leaving me raw and exposed.

I cannot wait for things to stop hitting me to feel grounded and content. Life is a storm, always blowing, always hitting hard. I cannot afford to wait for a lull to be ok.

It is better to leave the house and my life a mess and sit at your feet, leaning forward into what you will say, than to waste away inside as I attempt to make sense of things and fix and clean and polish, all the while casting dirty looks toward those who don’t seem to notice I need help. They are the wrong ones to ask.

When I feel exhausted and frustrated and beat down, I must decide this: I need help. It is not beautiful to push forward, tired, hopeless, steps dragging with many worries and troubles, because I “should.”

Hope is found at your feet.
Help is found at your feet.
Rest is found at your feet.

One thing is needed.

I cannot bear a broken spirit. So teach me that it’s ok to drop the ball and leave the mess and come running for help.

One thing is needed.
It’s you.
And it will not be taken away from me when I need it most.

I’m so frustrated with where I’m at.

So churned up, eyes so blurry with stored-up storms that I can’t see where I want to be; can’t even work on how to get there.

I am a cup always filling with unspilled anger, precariously balanced.

I am a city holding fire.

I am so preoccupied with external assaults, I offer poor management to the internal blaze. In the end, I will be an intact wall with nothing left to guard. I will have swallowed up anything that was worth protecting in my own collapse.

I am in ruins.

I was mad that my knee has been getting worse, then as I paid for physical therapy this morning, I looked over to see a man smiling about some candy he’d just found, as he stood at the same counter as I, with one less leg.

I explained how frustrated I was about our finances to my physical therapist this morning. She told me she’s working on paying off over $200,000 in student loans.

I was upset that we’re down to one good car and can’t afford new windshield wipers for it, when the old, brittle ones cleared enough of the windshield for me to see someone walking home in the snow.

For all the tension I feel over what I don’t have…I have SO MUCH!!

Lord- You have always taken good care of us. It is a choice to think that I have enough. It is a bad decision to give in to feelings that I don’t.

To feed a fire that only burns my own heart.

“Devote yourself to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.”

–Colossians 4:2

NKJV uses the word “vigilant,” another version says, “being watchful and thankful.” I think it takes a measure of watchfulness to remain thankful.

Perhaps it is not to the outside I must be alert and vigilant, but toward my own heart.

I must be quick to put out the fires on the inside, for what lies outside these walls is not the only danger.

“I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me…I will not die, but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done.”

–Psalm 118:13, 17

“Be earnest and unwearied and steadfast in your prayer [life], being [both] alert and intent in [your praying] with thanksgiving.”

–Colossians 4:2 (Amplified)

So I will not become weary in asking for what I need; I will not grow dejected when I feel pushed back again and again. I will not say you have abandoned us when I am teetering. I will trust in You still.

I will not look at the money, I will look at You.

I will not look at the conflicts, I will look at You.

I will not look at the damage, I will look at You.

You will steady me. You will douse the flame.

Help me develop a watchful mind that is aware of small fires I have allowed to burn. Help me be diligent to talk to you often, faithful to tend to the inward battle, assured that you will handle the outside threats, slow to worry, purposefully thankful.

Time to move on from what I don’t have, what I can’t do. Onward to what is still possible.

Shape me into someone who is thankful, looks forward, speaks gently, and is not consumed with what is lost, because she knows all losses have purpose when they are brought to your feet.

You have a way of taking pieces and doing things I’d never expect with them. There’s a lot that’s in pieces for me right now…help me to let go. To trust you with them. To thank you for them.

Help me to let go of what I had and push into who I am. To see that who I become is a gift you give with hard experiences-a gift to thank you and ask you for. Take whatever you must, to get to who I am and work on that. It could really use your attention.