“…In all of your ways, acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
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I got to go for some trail runs up in North Carolina during a visit to my brother’s house this week. The forest and streams were gorgeous, but let’s talk about the terrain.
“This one should take me about 45 minutes.” I had told Cody. Not. Even. Close.
I was not prepared for those steep, root-filled climbs at a running pace. It was painfully slow-going, and because it took so much effort, you can bet I was double-checking my map to make sure I was still on course. When our progress gets more costly, it often prompts our hearts to confirm that we’re headed the right direction. We don’t want all that climbing to be for nothing.
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This year at the Sun n’ Fun Air Expo, we got the awesome opportunity to hear, speak into and pray over the dreams of several young pilots who are hoping to go into missions. One of them sent me an email this month with a question:
Were there any times during the journey where it got tough and you were tempted to give up and quit? How did God help you both stick it out all the way?
It was such a great question and putting together my answer was a journey I thought you might like to come along for. So I’ve decided to share my response with you, too. When things get tough and you, like me, may be tempted to quit or start to get nervous that the difficulty level has ramped up because you’ve gotten off track somewhere, I’m praying this encourages you to take heart.
May we meet our obstacles and difficulties with eyes fixed on the One who lights our path and a determination to run even harder toward the good desires He’s placed on our hearts.
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Dear Abby,
Yes, looking back we had a few moments in particular where we were really tempted to give up. One was when Cody failed a check flight and had to repeat it in school. The program moved fast and some students were just cruising ahead but Cody had to work super hard on each and every flight, and failing one was such a big hit. Especially after we dropped everything, spent all our savings and moved our whole lives thousands of miles from anyone we knew to go after this. It was this terrifying moment of “What are we doing?? What if we got this wrong??”
Cody’s flight instructor came over for dinner and encouraged us that there are all sorts of different pilots, and he, for one, had to work hard at it when he was learning. It didn’t come easily, but that taught him how to help other people who found it really challenging. He saw how hard Cody was working and reminded us that a failed flight just means you need more time working on something before you add something new, because you want to be comfortable, proficient and focused, not scattered and struggling to keep up. He also reminded us not to doubt, in a moment of difficulty and confusion, something the Lord made clear when we laid the decision before Him in prayer. He said questioning our decisions over and over would only break our confidence, and it was not something we had entered into lightly or carelessly. God would be faithful to communicate if He was leading us somewhere new, but short of that, obstacles and struggle were not good reasons to waver.
That conversation has been really grounding to us throughout the years. It cemented for us that we don’t want to change our minds because something gets too difficult, but only when God gives us something new to go after. In this race, we want to run toward, not from. We want to follow his leading, not constantly question if He really meant it because the path is harder than we expected.
A few years later, after Cody passed school with flying colors (praise Jesus!!), we traveled to Arizona with our two-week-old baby to interview with Ethnos.
It was meant to be an intense week of flying and testing because they do rule pilots out who aren’t suited for the fast-paced, complicated flying our locations require, and nobody offers reassurance early, they don’t want to give you false hope. Nervous, but excited, we got started. Then two days in, we all got the flu and Cody was missing flight after flight. He was running fevers and weak and couldn’t get out of bed. Again we felt like…did we get this wrong? Is this a ‘no’?
These interviews only happen once a year and the instructors and chief pilots fly in from all over the world to weigh in on the decision. We were running out of days, soon the week would be up! Again, we prayed about it and put our heads together. We told the Lord that we belong to Him and He’s allowed to say no to this and use us some other way, but we asked if the sickness wasn’t his way of saying no, that He would make it possible for us to still interview somehow.
By the end of the week, Cody recovered, and somehow, for each of these crazy busy guys with all their meetings and responsibilities, it all lined up that they had the flexibility to extend their stay three days. Cody completed his flights and we passed the aviation interview!
During our membership interview for the mission itself, one of our interviewers encouraged us: “Listen guys, this is usually the point where I press in with some even tougher questions. But I just watched you go through that and…I don’t really have any more questions for you. I’ve seen what I need to see.“
That was a crazy moment for me because I felt like such a mess, always having things go wrong and fall apart. But this man had watched us and seen God make a way forward, and his sum-up of things was not focused on the messiness, but the willingness to keep going in spite of it.
Our truck broke down several times that summer as we traveled around the country to try to raise support. We ended up having a really low paycheck that month and had to use the credit card to make repairs and get back home. Then the clutch on our truck went out, one month before we were supposed to head to Arizona to begin flight orientation with Ethnos. I was desperate and so tired and discouraged, so I told the Lord, “if you want us there, YOU fix the truck. I’m not spending one more cent to try to force this to happen. If it’s your plan, you do it.”
Then a local shop (whose owners go to our church) donated their space, paid for all the parts, and one of their mechanics gave his time after hours to help Cody replace the clutch. I was humbled and floored. Transmission work is not a cheap!!!
So. Good attitudes and bad attitudes. Grit and fear, determination and failing courage. We have felt it all and it is such a roller coaster. The Lord keeps showing up and He keeps stretching us to wait on Him just a little longer, even a little longer than last time, and we’ve gotten REALLY uncomfortable, but He hasn’t let us down yet!
On this side of things (and in the middle of another unknown where I’m not sure how things will work out), Cody and I have decided that obstacles and difficulty not only litter the right path, sometimes they are the markers of it. There is usually an easier option on our radar somewhere and it is ours to contend with the decision of whether to grasp for it or to keep holding both roads up to the Lord and asking for his leading, even if it’s hard and painful.
Step by step, I’ve started asking the question, “What would I do if I was braver?” The answer to that is usually a good start on the right choice.
Praying for you, Abby! Thanks for the great question!
-Beka
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye.”
“Show me Your ways, O Lord;
Teach me Your paths.
5 Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
On You I wait all the day…
Good and upright is the Lord;
Therefore He teaches sinners in the way.
9 The humble He guides in justice,
And the humble He teaches His way.
10 All the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth…”
dig deep | draw close 