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The Cadence of Dependence: squaring up with the Spirit one step at a time

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“If we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”
–Galatians 5:25

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A few weeks ago, I was preparing to cross a busy parking lot with the boys. Benaiah was having a particularly clingy day and wanted to be carried. I was also lugging a purse and diaper bag, and trying to find a free hand to guide Abi. I told him he could either hold onto my pocket or grab a few of my free fingers as we stepped up to the curb. Abi hesitated and looked up at me:

“Mom, would it be okay if I had a new responsibility?”

I raised my eyebrows, “Depends. What do you have in mind?”

“Can I cross the street without holding your hand as long as I stay with you?”

I thought about it. “That’s a big responsibility, Abishai. I think you can handle it, but I need to see you be very focused if we’re going to cross safely.”

“I’ll focus,” he looked at me earnestly, so I continued:

“I’m tall enough for the cars to see, but they might not see you, so this is only okay with me if you make sure your feet match my feet. Walk next to me and take a step each time I do, okay?”

He gave me a determined nod and we stepped out. Abi did a great job sticking with me all the way to the truck. As I started strapping Benaiah into his seat, I turned and gave Abi a high five, “Good job! That’s exactly how you keep in step.”

My eyes widened even as the words came out of my mouth. “Keep in step.” Where have I heard that phrase before?

I am a visual person. But I hadn’t really slowed down to consider the imagery we’re given in Galatians 5:25 more closely: “Since we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.”

I looked up the Greek word that is translated into the phrase “keep in step” in Galatians 5:25. It’s “stoikomen,” which comes from “stoikos,” and means “rows.” Properly, it’s used to express the idea of walking in lines or rows, in strict accordance to a particular pace. To keep in step. To walk in cadence.

I used to think of “keep in step” as a general concept meaning, “follow instructions” or “take the same steps, leading to the same places.” But this concept is more than that. It does not just mean “follow behind.” It means to “line up and walk in a row with,” which requires the same timing.

And It wasn’t until I was guiding my little boy through a parking lot with no physical contact to redirect him, that I honed in on the value of “keeping in step.” Of going beyond “follow my instructions” to  “focus on me, watch what I’m doing, and do it at the same time.”

I paused when my eyes landed on the word “cadence” in the definition, because Cody and I had actually just been discussing cadence the day before. Like most beginning runners, we both tend to have a lower cadence (fewer steps per minute) because we over-stride. It feels right, when you’re trying to go fast, to travel as far as you can with each step. But a proper cadence actually accomplishes a more efficient stride with more frequent, shorter steps. When you stretch to take the longest step possible, your feet work against your momentum because they produce backward force when they hit the ground out in front of you. Instead, you want your feet to land directly beneath you, using every ounce of energy to propel you forward.

Cody and I are both working on adjusting our cadence to reduce impact and injury to our feet, legs, and joints. It’s a long, gradual process to change it because correct cadence feels so weird when you’re not used to it. Those quick, short steps use a lot more cardio, but cardio improves as you condition it and increase demand on it. There is more strength to be had from that well. Your heels, feet and joints, on the other hand, will hit a hard limit if they’re taking too much impact. I learned the hard way, so here I am icing and stretching my heels with frozen limes instead of trail-running like I want to be.  

Over-striding not only makes you work harder for the distance you cover, it causes wear and tear. With improper cadence, you don’t get better with more conditioning, you wear out. I think in the same way, walking with the Spirit has to do not only with doing what you know is right, but with listening in and obeying as He instructs you in real time, in the right rhythm, at the right pace. It’s cadence work.

Abi knows how to cross a street and he knew where we were headed that day in the parking lot, but I had good reasons for keeping him right next to me through the process. In the same way, I might have a good idea of what steps to take and which direction I need to go, but man, does the pacing make a difference when walking with the Lord. The more life hits me, the more I realize I don’t have a prayer of taking those steps well unless they are by His power, in His timing.

“Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted.”

–Psalm 127:1

I can bring a lot of hustle, but if I over-stride, I will wear out. If I reach for more or push faster than the Spirit is leading and equipping me to handle, it causes wear and tear in my soul. And so, I’m aiming for solid conditioning at the right pace, and that often feels awkward.

But just like with running, even if the right cadence feels weird, there is way more strength to be had, because I am depending on the right source. He doesn’t wear out. And when I am weary, I can count on Him to march out the next move and to keep supplying the strength I need step after step after step.

Sometimes, lining up with Him means shorter steps than I expect or want. Sometimes, it means getting still and quiet when I’d prefer to be moving. And sometimes, it means going further when I feel like I have nothing left, trusting that His strength will meet me as I move to obey, rather than trusting how spent I feel. It usually involves tuning into right here, right now, and putting my whole focus on the people He’s placed right in front of me, rather than trying to anticipate the situation twenty strides from now. Can I exercise both the restraint and the endurance to go at the pace He is setting and laying out for me? Yes. With practice.

How about you? What step is right in front of you? Where do you need to press on and keep trusting Him to sustain you? Where are you straining to go further or faster than He’s asking? Do you fight it when He leads you to be still? Do you believe He will be your peace when you need to slow down and your supply when you need to keep going?

Today I am praying, for you and for me, “to be strengthened with power in our inner being through His Spirit” (Ephesians 3:16), that we would not let our hearts be “troubled or fearful” (John 14:27) because we are allowing His peace to rule in us (Colossians 3:15), that as we choose to trust our living God, we would overflow with hope (Romans 15:13), and that we would take this day ahead of us, one step at a time, humbly and vigilantly squaring up with the Spirit, even when it feels awkward and inefficient.

I’m praying that we will lay down what feels best to us and allow the Lord to condition into our lives a cadence of dependence on Him.

“Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.”

–Galatians 5:24-25

“My heart and flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

–Psalm 73:26

“Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”

–Isaiah 46:4

Ready to Stay. Ready to Go.

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“Whenever the cloud lifted from over the sacred tent, the people of Israel would break camp and follow it. And wherever the cloud settled, the people of Israel would set up camp…Whether the cloud stayed above the Tabernacle for two days, a month, or a year, the people of Israel stayed in camp and did not move on. But as soon as it lifted, they broke camp and moved on. So they camped or traveled at the Lord’s command…”

–Numbers 9:17-23

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As my eyes traveled over these words, I felt prompted to pause. I think it was the specific break-down of time. Two days. A month. A year.

Since returning from overseas ministry for medical care and facing hospitalization after hospitalization, and scan after scan for both myself and my son, I have lived my life in those increments. For over two years now, I have not known whether it would be two days, a month, a year, or more. And I have watched for the day we can break camp and move on. I have waited for the day we can leave all this behind us and start to rebuild our lives.

But I love what this passage points out. Even when the Israelites camped in the exact same spot for an entire year, they didn’t camp aimlessly. They camped at the Lord’s command.

The location changed all the time. Sometimes it changed after one day. Sometimes after a week. They found themselves in lots of different camping spots. But the location was not what was most important. What mattered most to the Lord, what He highlights here, is so simple I almost read past it.

It’s that moment when they stepped out of their tent, into the morning air, and they looked over at the tent of meeting to see what the cloud was doing.

If it lifted, they broke camp and followed it. If it stayed, so did they. But the look was what was most important. They acknowledged, with a glance, that the decision wasn’t up to them. It didn’t depend on whether they thought it was a good day to travel or whether they wanted to stay longer at the current campground or whether they were tired of it. Day after day after day, the decision was made based off of only one question. What is the cloud doing today? Where the cloud went, they followed. Where it stayed, they stayed. And they started each morning ready to stay and ready to go.

That heart posture was vastly more important to Jehovah than their physical surroundings, situation, and circumstances. Funny, how easily I can get that reversed.

That peek out of the tent to lay eyes on the cloud is one physical example of what it means to

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all of your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your steps.”

-Proverbs 3:5-6

And as I sat with that truth, a deep rest sunk in and settled over my heart. God didn’t need me straining to see what the next day, week, or month held. He didn’t want me trying to predict and pack early or to give up and start construction on something permanent. He just wanted me to step out each morning and look at Him. And then respond to what I saw in that glance. To be ready to follow Him, whether that meant going somewhere or staying put.

And all this time, though my heart yearned to be moving, staying put WAS following Him. He had us here. And it was good to stay right here, where He had us, only because that was the instruction we had for the day, whether or not we understood why.

This month, I learned for the first time that I had developed a deficiency. It was a medical close call. Left unchecked, it leads to irreversible nerve damage, and sometimes a wheelchair. Almost three years after leaving Papua New Guinea, this is the first time it really hit me that as much as I wanted to help, I needed help. And God, in His firm love, held me here until I got all the help that I needed, even while I disagreed with Him. Even while I was willing to just deal with the symptoms and get back to our jobs.

I didn’t see the whole picture.

When He says “…My ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9)

I mean…LITERALLY He is looking and thinking about everything from higher up than I am. And He sees pieces of the picture I have no idea are there. When He says to wait, I can bank on there being a good reason, however frustrating it is to me to keep staring at the same old campground.

He has this. And He has me. And just because He has me stay put, it doesn’t mean that what He has laid on my heart is going untended. He is often working on the very situation I’m so desperate to make a difference in, but in a better and higher way than I could, even if I could be there, hands-on, giving 100%.

Are you anxious? Are you frustrated? Are you tired of waiting? Are you straining to see what’s up ahead?

He has this. He has you.

So trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

For a moment, get quiet and stop trying to figure it all out. Set aside your goals for this situation and hone in on the posture of your heart.

Step out this morning and take a look at Him. And then respond to what you see.

“None of these things could have been foreseen twenty years ago. Our focus was and is on obeying God and responding to His voice…

We need to relax a bit, turn away from the noise…and listen to the voice of God because He has put everything together. He has prepared for us a place of service and ministry and will open the necessary doors, despite the obstacles and the confusion we may experience during the journey. I need to quiet my heart in order to hear God’s direction…

Every step of the way has been set by God, and one step leads to the next. Rarely do we see many steps ahead of us…But like God did for Israel, He prepares us for one step at a time…We never know what we will need, but God does and has made full provision. To reach that place requires a power not equal to but superior to the opposition.”

-A. W. Tozer, “A Cloud by Day, A Fire by Night”, excerpts from pages 17, 22, 28, 30

Let Me Teach You: Called to more than grand gestures

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“Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

–Matthew 11:29 

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This has been a humbling year. I came back from the mission field. I stayed in the ICU. I cancelled our plans and cared for a sick baby. Slowly, I’m laying down my version of God’s calling on my life for His. 

Cody has shifted into his role with grace and purpose. He’s meeting a clear need and they’re so thankful to have him. But my life is full of cycles. Unending dishes, diapers, bottles, interruptions, laundry, potty training, soothing fussy kids at night, grocery runs, sweaty walks, and going over letters and memory verses with a distracted pre-schooler who’d rather be playing in the mud. It’s not as easy for me to wade through the work and see what we’re accomplishing. I thought I’d be flying to the rescue and making an impact on the unreached peoples of the world. Those are good desires, but man, has it been brutal to lay them down and figure out who I am without them.

Pride says “Why would you bring us home? I’m more valuable than this! I have trained so long and so hard and I could be making a difference!”

Humility says, “Jesus is the one that makes the difference. He can position me wherever He likes and give me any job He wants.”

I’ll give you one guess which one my heart tends toward. 

Humility doesn’t grasp for significance and recognition or strive to be important. But I do. Humility doesn’t try to impress other people. But I do. Humility knows that God’s calling is not just to the grand gestures, but to the every-day choice to die to self and love the people He’s put in front of you. But I don’t want to die to self in the ways I’m being asked to right now. I want to tackle big and important work, but Jesus was happy to let his big and important work be interrupted by little children. 

I read a story by Paul David Tripp about his early days as a young pastor. He was over it. He had figured out a new plan for ministry and given his resignation. But an older man stayed after the service and challenged him: “We know you’re discouraged and we know you’re a bit immature, but we haven’t asked you to leave. Where is the church going to get mature pastors if the immature ones leave?” 

We get mature pastors when immature ones stick with it. We get mature moms, mature missionaries, mature believers, when immature ones keep at it. So here I am. Recognizing, left and right, the indicators that my heart is proud and immature. But I hear my Savior saying “Let me teach you.”

Ephesians 4:1-2 says this:
 “…Lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”

I desperately want to live a life worthy of my calling. I just didn’t realize how often that means “Be patient with each other. Be humble and gentle,” that it’s a calling not just to do certain things, but be a certain type of person. Hard work matters. But it matters more that my work flows out of a heart that is patient with other people. Big sacrifices matter. But it matters more that I make the sacrifices because of how worthy Jesus is, not because I am trying to be worthy. It’s good to want to teach people about Jesus, but I cannot forget how badly I need to be taught by Him.

He was equal with God, but He didn’t cling to that. He was the most significant human being on the face of the Earth, but He didn’t flaunt it. How I need Him to teach me to be humble and gentle. How I need Him to teach me to value people so much that I do not turn away from the mundane, inconvenient, and tedious work of loving them and caring for them day in and day out. 

Here’s the sweet spot. Pride is the source of so much wrestling and angst. But Jesus said, “Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Not only is He ready to teach me, his teaching brings rest. 

Are you frustrated with where He has you? Are you weary and discouraged and reaching for something different and more fulfilling? Do you feel like what you really have to offer has been passed over? Are you trucking through your work, but growing impatient with your people?

Me too. Let’s go to our teacher. Let’s run to our rest. He can teach us to be like Him. He can quiet our hearts. He can remind us that we are here on purpose, and that every second is worthwhile. He can change us so that what we do flows out of who we are in Him, and it is full of life and grace. 

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.”
–John 15:4