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“Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God with your body.”

-1 Corinthians 6:17, 19

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I read this verse a week ago – the day before I lined up for my first marathon – and I chuckled.

Three years ago I was in the ICU. Last December, I was in surgery to remove a salivary gland tumor. I’m still managing a heart arrhythmia, POTS, endometriosis, copper deficiency, and a touch of asthma. Putting my body on a 26.2 mile race course sounds like a bad joke.

And yet, these last three years have taught me that “glorify God with your body,” is not the same thing as, “be the best, the fastest, and the strongest.”

“…God’s weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength. Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.  God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important.  As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God.“

-1 Corinthians 1:25-29

It is often in my weakness and my lack that people get to see Jehovah showing Himself strong – coming to my rescue when I have nothing left, answering desperate prayers whispered in the dark, restoring, strengthening, and quietly encouraging my heart to keep going when the storm doesn’t let up and the hard path before me stretches out longer than I can see.

He doesn’t need me to be the best. He already is the best, and He can show it through my life as I invite Him into my weakness. Our God shows Himself strong on our behalf, not just by enabling us to make impressive performances, but by empowering us to walk through struggle with impressive grace.

And when He asks us to glorify Him with our body, I think He means with the one He’s given us. Yes, that one. Worn, fatigued, broken, and not working like it used to, but this is what we’re called to show up in.

Sometimes, these bodies of ours are like Gideon’s 300 men. They’re not the presence and strength we wanted to go into battle with; they’re what’s left when so much of what we started with is depleted and lost. But for the One who can do anything, this little we have to offer is more than enough for what He wants to accomplish. He can fill and overflow in every place we are lacking.

And the glory He gets through our bodies is more than the fading glory our world chases after – it’s the type of glory that hints at what our souls are starving for. Peace. Wholeness. Contentment. Self-control. Joy. Rest. Patient longsuffering. Unselfish Love. The fruit of the Spirit, flowing through us in the midst of a struggle that should have our weakened minds and bodies at their most irritable and reactive….that is another type of glory altogether. And He can do it through you and me, in the very situation that seems to be breaking us and pushing us past all our limits.

“Why a marathon? Don’t you have enough going on right now?”

If that’s your question, I get it. I echoed the same one to myself all year. I think my short answer would be: “I was going through some stuff. I felt like the training would help me face it.”

In the days before the race, I realized some of it was probably a bid for control and confidence, coming out of a long season where I felt so helpless in the waves of medical trauma, broken plans, and transition to a new normal that hit our family.

“If I can do this,” I thought, “I’ll prove to myself that I’m doing better – I’ll finally believe that I really am doing okay enough to face everything else. I’ll know that I am strong and consistent enough to handle the next wave of things.”

But on the other side of crying out to Jesus at mile 22 to get us through this thing, my take-away was something different.

Running the marathon and talking about it with other runners afterward, I saw that you can plan, prepare, train and do everything right, and still so much can change in the course of the race. I spoke to some people who glowed and announced a finishing time they were thrilled with. And I spoke to others who told me that it had been a race where everything went wrong. People puked and passed out and got injured. I passed runners going down on the sidewalks, not able to continue, who looked like they’d done this a hundred times before. They were more prepared than I was and something out of their control just went wrong.

I would have been one of the easiest people to knock out of this race, because any number of the issues I deal with can sideline me unexpectedly. But this time, I was given the grace and the help to finish.

Me finishing this thing didn’t really represent me being strong, consistent and in control.

Me finishing was a result of aid.

Water, food, hose-offs, cheers and encouragement from the sidelines. Debby and Heather running next to me, mile after mile. Cody and our parents shuttling and caring for my little children. A backpack in just the right place to form a barrier between my back and the slick steps when I slipped on a muddy mountain hike just a few days before the race. Courage and strength in answer to a prayer for help to finish. The take-away is not the same as the why.

The why was: I want to prove to myself that I can face the next thing, even in this body.

The take-away was: I know I can face this next thing, in any sort of body, because He will help me.

He will answer me when I need him. He will be with me, one mile after another, providing aid. And when I ask, He will give me the eyes to see it. Jehovah-Ezer, “the Lord my help,” is his name.

“In my distress I cried to the Lord,
And He heard me.”

-Psalm 120:1

“I love the Lord because he hears my voice
    and my prayer for mercy.
Because he bends down to listen,
    I will pray as long as I have breath!”

-Psalm 116:1-2

“I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.”

-Psalm 34:4

“This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”

-Hebrews 4:15-16

Remember.

I sense the nudge in my heart.

Look at this ground where your feet have tread and remember how I helped you. Take courage. Yes, in my strength, you can do this next thing, too. And my Spirit who is in you, whom you have, will always supply that strength as you cry out to Him, as you reach for Him. He has you. You are never alone. You are never without what you need. I can always supply it.

Oh Lord,

Remind me when the way ahead is long, intimidating, and unfamiliar. When I’m tired and raw and losing heart. In this place, too, I can be broken because you are strong. I can be sick and it doesn’t mean I won’t heal. It just doesn’t mean that. Look how far I’ve come.

26.2 miles. You got me through 26.2 miles.

Not where I expected to be, but look how far you’ve brought me. May I not lose sight of how far we’ve come. May my heart not be unbelieving, but believe.

Benaiah is one Ebenezer. This marathon is another. Because when he stabilized and I was still so sick and struggling every single day, I cried out to you not to leave me behind. I thanked you for helping my son, but I wept that I needed more. And you answered me.

“Thus far the Lord has helped us.”

-1 Samuel 7:12

As I look forward to the next course you’ve marked out for me, and as I reckon with the reality that I have no idea how to finish – help me remember what you’ve already done.

May each bench, log, rock, foundation stone, beam, truss and nail on our land echo it as our build comes together:

“This far the Lord has helped us. Just look how far we’ve come.”

And to my friends who are fighting not to lose heart,

Even when there’s a long way to go, let us never think lightly of “this far.” “This far” already holds so many landmarks of His faithfulness to you. “This far” is enough for today, for there will be another “thus far the Lord has helped us,” tomorrow. So remember who it is that dwells within you. He is greater than what you’re facing. He is ready to help you.

“God is our refuge and strength,
    always ready to help in times of trouble.”

-Psalm 46:1

He is ready to work in you a deeper kind of glory and He invites you to show up just as you are and watch Him fight for you.

“Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.”

-Ephesians 6:10

“Be still in the presence of the Lord,
    and wait patiently for him to act.“

-Psalm 37:7

“But Moses told the people, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again.  The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”

-Exodus 14:13-14

You don’t have to have the answers or the strength. You don’t have to know which way to go. You just have to ask. Ask and wait, and ask Him to strengthen your heart to wait.

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.

Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!”

-Psalm 27:13-14

So, eyes up.

Breathe.

Shake out those tense shoulders.

Take courage.

Fix your eyes on Him.

Then run with endurance.

There is great joy up ahead.

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“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. “

-Hebrews 12:1-2

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“So den, wat bout us guys? All dose peopo dat trus God befo time, jalike dey all run one race. An now, jalike dey all stan aroun us guys fo spock us run da race. Az why we gotta hemo all da heavy kine stuff dat make us run slow, an da bad kine stuff dat jam us up. We gotta hang in dea an no give up, an run da whole race dass fo us. Da whole time us guys stay run da race, we look at one guy ony, dass Jesus. He da One dat help us start fo trus God, an da One dat help us fo trus God to da end. Wen he wen suffa on top da cross, he hang in dea. Neva bodda him dat dey make him come shame. He do dat cuz he know dat bumbye he goin come real good inside. An in da end, he sit down in da mos importan place, by God throne, on da right side. So tink plenny bout Jesus! How he wen hang in dea an no give up wen all kine bad stuff from all da bad peopo go agains him. If you guys tink bout Jesus lidat, den you guys no goin get tired an lose fight.“

-Hebrews 12:1-3 (Hawaii Pidgin Bible)