Falling

falling

“…this child is destined for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign which will be spoken against…that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.”

-Luke 2:34-35

When encountering You, people rise, or they fall. Their true thoughts are drawn to the surface. They kneel or they resist; they fill with longing, or with rage…but no one remains neutral.

And so the story of Jesus the human unfolds with an old man’s warning:

This child is here to save us, but many will not accept that. Everywhere He goes, He will draw out what people really think. 

In other words, Simeon was telling Mary this: things are about to get messy.

Things are still messy. You do not enter anyone’s life and leave it neatly put together. You draw the mess to the surface; You make it impossible to for us to politely smooth out the wrinkles and pretend our issues aren’t there. You ask questions I would rather avoid.

No wonder Israel reacted strongly to You. You knew their hearts and took away their ability to pretend.

Here, now, the question remains: how do I react to You? Do I rise or fall? What comes to the surface when You reveal my thoughts? What do I do when I am laid bare?

It is worth it to be close to You. To be close to light. But even now, I don’t always see that. I feel the discomfort and I run the way of those who fall: toward pride, toward denial, toward self-justification, toward ‘it was the woman!,’ ‘it was the snake!,’ ‘it was the people!,’ ‘it’s not my fault!,’  ‘I WAS RIGHT!’

There are two ways to react to true greatness:

  1. I can shrink back and turn away, frantically trying to hold my own illusion of greatness intact.
  2. I can fall forward and let my own image fall, too.

(for it has never been good to worship an image, and even without recognizing it, the image I worship most often is my own).

Better to fall. I can fall before true greatness. I can fall before You. Better to be low and close than to be high and mighty…and so far off that I don’t even see it.

“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord and He will lift you up.”

-James 4:10

To remain close to You is a constant, uncomfortable humbling, but it is also honesty; it is choosing not to lie to myself. And it is in falling that I am lifted up.

 

Lord-

My heart is such that angry impurities are always boiling to the surface. So badly, I want to be enough, to be impressive, to be in charge. But a relationship with You is all about being willing to see what my heart really thinks, and choosing to say “no” to it, in order to obey You. It is about laying down ambition in order to experience love.

Always You call me forward, into further falling.

But it is not just falling down from tightly held dreams for myself; it is falling in love with a most precious treasure. So help me let go and fall. Your arms are waiting.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s