“I know, Lord, that our lives are not our own. We are not able to plan our own course. So correct me, Lord, but please be gentle…”
I listened to a speaker today who talked about knowing what I want and not seeing that desire as the enemy. She said that knowing what I want and demanding it are two different things. That knowing what I want can lend clarity to decisions and that it even prepares me for when I don’t get it, because I can name what it is I’m feeling (disappointment) and move through it rather than wonder why I feel irritable and frustrated.
I feel like this verse offers the other half: I can know what I want, but I cannot know what will be.
My desires are not for no reason, but they are not always for this time.
I am not able to plan my own course. I am not able to make my will happen. But I am able to offer my wants to Him and ask for gentle direction, gentle correction, and gentle reminders that I am not my own.
He has plans for me, the one He created: higher plans, better plans than mine, and that is why He plans the course. That is why I am not able to.
So Lord –
Plan it. However you like. And help my heart along as it names its desires, offers them to you with hope, and then waits.
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!
Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.
He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,
And your justice as the noonday.